What Would You Say?

I received an email from a reader asking about my policy on PG13 movies. As discussed here in the past, in our family there is no viewing of PG13 movies unless they have been pre-screened by parents. In some instances, that means actually watching the movie before the kids do (i.e. waiting for it to come out on DVD and then letting them see it only once we've viewed it). In other instances, it means consulting trusted review sources such as those I have listed over at CatholicMom.com. This doesn't always make my children happy, especially when they are invited to see a movie with friends and have to decline due to Mom and Dad's rule.

Don't get me wrong, my kids have seen lots of movies that are PG13 - it's just that we, as parents, have determined that they are ok for the boys to view. My kids are almost 15 and almost 12...

The reader who wrote me was asking about how to handle this situation with her children who are substantially younger than mine. Her almost six year old is good friends with someone who gets to see lots of PG13s and he's wondering why he can't go see them as well.

I'd advise this reader to stick to her convictions. In my family, when my boys ask things like this, I tell them that I don't care what rules other families have, but that these are the rules in our family. I try to lovingly convey to them that their Dad and I are doing our best at what I consider to be our most important responsibility - the raising of two sons who will hopefully one day grow into two Godly and loving men. I share with them that I know their disappointment, but that the few rules we have exist because of our deep love for them. I also remind them, now that they are getting older, that choosing to live life a certain way may not always be fun and easy, but that it does signify the type of person you are trying to be. With Eric, who will enter high school in the fall, I remind him that the peer pressure he faces on topics like movies is nothing compared to what lies in his path ahead - pressure to smoke, to drink, to do drugs, and much more.

I don't have all of the answers on this topic - I only know how I've tried to handle this with my own boys. The PG13 rule doesn't make me popular with them, but hopefully someday when they have the same rule with their own children, they will remember me kindly. Why do I say this? Because I had a "No R movies" rule with my own parents before PG13 existed. I'm sure I thought it was dumb when I couldn't go see Saturday Night Fever with my friends, but now I'm thankful that my parents lovingly and consistently gave me this limit. It made my Mom the bad guy, and gave me an excuse for not seeing content I was emotionally unready to handle.

What would you say to the Mom of the 5 year old? I'd love it if you'd share your comments below or email me at lisa@catholicmom.com with your thoughts and ideas.