Fostering an Attitude of Thankfulness in Our Children

As we embark upon another year of holiday celebrations and commence our new Liturgical year with the season of Advent, it is good to reflect upon the many blessings that fill our lives. While Thanksgiving is a secular holiday, it offers Catholic families the perfect opportunity to teach our children about the quality of thankfulness, both in prayer and in personal life.

I was blessed to grow up in a home filled with thankfulness. In turn, I'm trying to foster that same attitude of appreciation in my own sons. I've learned much from my own parents, who taught their five children to always be grateful for lives rich in blessings as opposed to looking at what we might not have. This "glass half full" outlook on life has served me well, enabling me to look at even life's most mundane gifts with a heart that perpetually gives thanks to God.

To help create a spirit of thankfulness within your family, make time to explore the following suggestions:

As a family, routinely pray together. Include prayers of praise and thanksgiving and invite your children's prayers as well. Some of my fondest family prayers include my boys precious "thanks" prayers prior to bed times when they were younger:

"Thanks God for the anthill I found at preschool today"
"Thanks for helping me find my missing lego monkey"
"Thanks for the soccer game, even though we lost"

Sure, some of these might have been thinly veiled attempts at stalling bedtime, but they always taught me to remember to say thanks for both the big and the little moments that made up each day.

Encourage the writing of "Thank You" notes. Little ones can be taught from an early age that every gift and kind gesture deserves a note of appreciation. Those too young to write can draw a picture or pose for a photograph of themselves and their gift to send to the giver. Older kids need to be taught that this social grace is also one that will be essential to them professionally and personally in the future.

Model everyday thankfulness for your children. Let your children see you take time to truly thank the clerk who helps you at the grocery store, the person who offers directions when you are lost, or the friend that helps drive the carpool. If everyone in the malls this holiday season took time to thank the employees who helped them, the world would be a nicer and friendlier place. Encourage your children to remember to say "thank you" in socially appropriate situations, such as when they are departing a friend's home or receiving a ride from another adult. If they forget to say thank you, politely prompt them frequently and eventually they will remember.

Remember to thank your children. Sadly, this is one area where families sometimes fall short - we forget or neglect to express appreciation to those we most love. We take small acts of kindness for granted or see only shortcomings. My father is an excellent "thanker" - his small notes of encouragement to me always raise my spirits. It's not unusual for me to receive an unsolicited email from my Daddy saying something akin to "Thank you for being such a wonderful person." Granted, he's my Daddy so he's a little biased, but the point is that when he takes time to thank me, it encourages me to do the very same for my own children. Next time your child brings home a test that falls short of your expectations, why not try genuinely thanking him for his efforts in school prior to launching into an interrogation? Thank the child who helps with chores, lovingly helps a sibling, or is kind to a friend. Take the time to say you appreciate the person they are becoming.

As we pause this week to count our blessings, I thought I would share with you the following prayer of gratitude. May God richly bless you and your family this holiday season, and may each of us make time each day to express our heartfelt gratitude for His eternal goodness in our lives.

Prayer on Thanksgiving Day

Heavenly Father,

This is the day set aside to give you thanks for your surpassing goodness to human beings. You have created us in your own image and set us over your wonderful creation. You chose us a people to be your won and to carry your message of salvation to all people. You carried out your redemption in Jesus, your Son, and his saving fruits are passed on to every generation to all who believer that by his death and resurrection Jesus has given them a new freedom in his Spirit. Let me give you proper thanks for your blessings - those I am aware of as well as those that I habitually take for granted. And let me learn to use them according to your will.

Amen

The Legend of the Five Kernels

Each year, at my children's school, we hold a special Thanksgiving ceremony. A traditional part of the ceremony is the reading of the "Legend of the Five Kernels". Whenever I listen to this simple legend, I am always reminded of the importance of having a grateful heart in all aspects of my life.

Many years, our family has followed the tradition of placing the five kernels adjacent to plates at our family Thanksgiving meal. Simple object lessons such as this one can be a wonderful conversation prompt and can grow into a family tradition that will be passed along to future generations.

I hope you enjoy this legend and that your family celebration of this holiday is filled with beautiful traditions and newly created memories. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Legend of the Five Kernels

It was very cold for the Pilgrims that first winter. Food was in short supply. Some days, they had only five kernels of corn. When spring came, the Pilgrims planted the remaining corn. The sun and rain helped the seeds to grow and much food was harvested in the fall.

Every Thanksgiving thereafter, the Pilgrims placed five kernels of corn beside each plate to remind them of their blessings.

The first kernel reminded them of the autumn beauty.
The second kernel reminded them of their love for each other.
The third kernel reminded them of their family's love.
The fourth kernel reminded them of their friends...especially their Indian brothers.
The fifth kernel reminded them of their freedom.

This Thanksgiving, let us all remember the blessings of our lives. Count the kernels, count your blessings.

Catholic Moments Podcast #21

Today's podcast features Danielle Bean. Danielle is a wife and mom of eight, author, Catholic blogger and editor of Faith and Family Magazine. I share information about a visit to my parish from the International Pilgrim Virgin Statue of Our Lady of Fatima and share a warm autumn column and two yummy recipes from Cay Gibson. To share your comments, email us at catholicmoments@mac.com or comment at www.catholicmoments.com.

Links for this episode:
Danielle Bean
Faith and Family Magazine
Mom to Mom, Day to Day: Advice and Support for Catholic Living
My Cup Of Tea: Musings Of A Catholic Mom
International Pilgrim Virtue Statue of Our Lady of Fatima
Cay Gibson's Recipes for Pumpkin Bread and Snickerdoodles

To listen to this episode online, click this link: cm021.mp3
Subscribe to Catholic Moments at iTunes
Subscribe to Catholic Moments in a Reader

Two for Nana!

Great CD for Catholic Families

If your family loves listening to music together, please check out "Friend of God", the new CD from Christ Music Kids (formerly Catholic Kids Music). My interview with the Executive Producer of this group, Natalie Burt, will be featured in the next Grapevine Magazine, but don't wait until then to order this great CD for your family. I think you'll love it!

Tips for a Prayer Friendly Home

Maureen Pratt wrote to share the good news that her feature, Ten Simple Ways to Make Your Home More Prayer Friendly, is now online at Beliefnet.

The "Way" I most need to work on is:

Diminish Clutter

If our surroundings are too jumbled, we might find it difficult to focus our eyes and hearts on the simplicity of spirit. By reducing the amount of unnecessary things we keep in our homes, we leave space for breathing in openness and freshness of outlook. We might also discover ways to give to others who truly do need what in our lives is unneeded.

Enjoy!

Adam Plays at Mass

Here's a little video of Adam playing clarinet at Mass this morning. He just started playing about 8 weeks ago, so I think he's doing great! Enjoy!

Catholic Moments Podcast #20

Enjoy a few giggles during this "moment" with Sally Edwards, Catholic mom and stand up comedian. Sally shares the good news about her new business which refers clean stand up comedians for corporate and church events. To share your comments, email us at catholicmoments@mac.com or comment at www.catholicmoments.com.

Links for this episode:
Sally Edwards
Clean Stand Up Comedians
Ann Ball
Lisa's Facebook Profile
Catholic Mom Logo Store - Nielsen Design Studio

To listen to this episode online, click this link: cm020.mp3
Subscribe to Catholic Moments at iTunes
Subscribe to Catholic Moments in a Reader

"To Teach" November Issue

The November issue of "To Teach" from USCCB is now online, discussing the topic of "Encountering Christ in the Least of These". Two of my favorite suggestions from the family section are:

• Before you and your family donate items to local agencies or organizations, call or check their website to find out what they need the most. Many organizations have a “wish list” of the most needed items.
• Start your family Christmas shopping by buying gifts from the many small businesses listed by CCHD and support socially just causes with your holiday shopping.

Check out "To Teach".

Toy Alert

Donna-Marie shares info on the latest scary toy recall over at her blog. Truly scary stuff!

The headline caught my attention - SoCal Fires Burn Valley Food Banks - but it was the picture that really drove the message home. Help is needed...today. Sure, my parish food drive and the kids' annual canned food collection will take place Thanksgiving week, but the need for community support of our food banks is ongoing, not based on the holiday schedule.

At my church, we have a monthly drop off for collecting donations of rice and beans, but I'm sad to say that I frequently forget to come to church armed with a donation. I have the best of intentions, but too often my lack of organization keeps me from following through.

That's why I just got off the phone with our local Catholic Charities food bank, where I made a small pledge to donate on a recurring basis. I mentally calculated what we could afford, estimating what I might spend if I actually made it to the store and donated those rice and beans each month. The lady on the phone kindly took my pledge - when I apologized about the size of the donation, she encouraged me. "Every little bit helps, and this will add up over time." The hit to our budget will be minimal, and the donation will recur automatically without me having to remember it.

Many of us remember to make charitable donations at the usual times - at Christmas, year end, and around tax time, but social service and faith based organizations need our support year round. By setting up automatic donations, you assure your ongoing giving and chances are you won't even miss the funds you set aside to donate. There are many ways to do this - online, over the telephone, through online bill pay, or via credit card. It's quick, easy and painless - plus you get the added benefit of knowing that no matter what else you accomplish today, you've done something to help someone in need. That's a great feeling. And don't feel bad if the amount you are able to donate seems small or insignificant.

Remember, every little bit helps.

Expressing Condolences

I wrote the following today for my Productivity @ Home blog (a secular resource) and would love to hear your thoughts on this topic from a Catholic perspective. How do you comfort those in pain due to the loss of a loved one? How do you speak with your children about the topic of death and dying?

Within the past ten days, we have lost two friends to untimely deaths. The first was a 52 year old wife and mother of two and first grade teacher at my sons' elementary school. She lost a quite rapid battle with cancer - she has actually started the school year and didn't leave her classroom until mid-September, when her pain and treatments became too difficult to enable her to continue teaching the first graders who loved her so dearly. Our second loss was the father of one of my son's peers - a forty year old whose family discovered him dead of an apparent heart attack with no warning. He leaves behind a loving wife and three awesome kids.

Death, whether it comes swiftly or after a long battle, is always a shock. As parents, we struggle to try to explain to our children (and to ourselves) how some people's lives seem to end so quickly. Platitudes fail to heal the suffering that lingers when we lose a loved one. We want, so desperately, to find a way to reach out to those left behind to deal with the loss. We also may find it impossible to explain death to our children, who fear their own parents may suddenly meet with the same fate. At times like this, I fall back on my spiritual frame of reference as a great comfort.

A friend recently shared these three tips for helping a family who has experienced the death of a loved one:

Hug - Physical comfort, when appropriate, is a tremendous support to the family of one who has died. When words escape us, hugs can bring healing. Do not avoid the widow or widower out of discomfort because you don't know what to say. A simple hug and an honest expression of grief are appropriate in many cases.

Hush - So many people make the mistake of saying something trite like "It was God's will" in these times of pain. Do not feel as though you have to say something explanatory to those grieving - saying nothing is much better than saying something that will only multiply their sorrow.

Hang Around - Offers of help may be graciously declined, but after the initial rush of condolence cards and casseroles, your grieving friend will need your support. One of my friends who lost her husband to an untimely death still speaks of the neighbor who comes over every year to hang her Christmas lights. It's a simple gesture, but one that speaks volumes about how much this person cares for her and her family. Honor your friend's need for privacy, but take the initiative to do simple gestures of compassion like offering to go grocery shopping, mow the lawn, or even drive her children to school.

When our friends or family are suffering as a result of death, it's the perfect time to practice love and compassion by quietly serving them. Our children will watch and learn the important lesson that "actions speak louder than words".

Join me for a couple of "moments" with Sandy Rosetter, author of the Bead by Bead Rosary Prayer Book and John Paul Rudolph, a Catholic musician and great guy! Don't forget to enter our latest giveaway - Sandy Rosetter has donated three copies of B for this giveaway. Send your email to lisa@catholicmom.com by 11/30/07 to be entered to win. Be sure to check out John Paul Rudolph's debut solo album Reflections. To share your comments, email us at catholicmoments@mac.com or comment at www.catholicmoments.com.

Links for this Episode:
Bead by Bead Rosary Prayer Book - The Joyful Mysteries
John Paul Rudolph - Web Site, MySpace
Lisa's Facebook Profile
Catholic Mom Logo Store - Nielsen Design Studio

Direct download: cm019.mp3
Subscribe to Catholic Moments at iTunes
Subscribe to Catholic Moments in a Reader

Novena for those with Autism

A huge "thank you" to Mary Ann from Australia who wrote to share with me some very special news. Mary Ann was responding to a recent Daily Miracles column by Mary Ellen Barrett who writes about her son Ryan.

Mary Ann shares that at her web site she has an ongoing Novena for autistic children and adults. You can visit Mary Ann's site to join this novena, and please join me in praying for all those touched by autism and for those providing love and care.

Can You Help Milo and Lisa?

Our good friend Lisa Umina is looking for your help? She and her buddy Milo are looking for contacts at Catholic Charities and Community Food Banks around the country to visit in support of Milo's latest book on community service. If you know of a Catholic Charities organization in your neck of the woods, would you please email lisa@halopubishing.com and give her the name of the organization.

When the Going Gets Tough

Time for a little self disclosure here on the blog. Maybe it's the time change or the fact that life has been a little hectic lately, but I've been somewhat discouraged the past week or two. Then last night I received an email that was very upsetting to me and I felt like packing up my mouse and taking a breather from web "stuff". I wisely called my favorite emotional consultant, my mother, who talked me down from the ledge and made me giggle, helping me to put the situation in perspective. Then I prayed a bit, for guidance and wisdom, and re-read the words of yesterday's second reading:

Brothers and sisters:
We always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of his calling
and powerfully bring to fulfillment every good purpose
and every effort of faith,
that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you,
and you in him,
in accord with the grace of our God and Lord Jesus Christ.

We ask you, brothers and sisters,
with regard to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ
and our assembling with him,
not to be shaken out of your minds suddenly, or to be alarmed
either by a "spirit," or by an oral statement,
or by a letter allegedly from us
to the effect that the day of the Lord is at hand.

Now I would never put myself anywhere near on par with the apostles in terms of the tests and attacks they faced along their journeys, but for me there is great strength and comfort in this epistle. We, each of us, belong to a communion of saints who intercede for us every day. Whether you're fed up with changing diapers, or dealing with a co-worker who drives you nuts, or simply trying to run a little web site, we all face trials every day. If you're like me, many days you feel like giving up because your efforts fall so very short of what you aspire to do. At those moments, that's when I need to pause and recall that all of what I do every day, whether it's driving a kid, packing a lunchbox, or working on a web site, is being done to bring glory to God. I may not do those things perfectly, but they are my prayers...my way of using the gifts He's given me. I can't allow my spirit to be shaken by emails or by my own self-doubt. All I can do is give God my best, with pure intentions and a heart filled with love and service.

So today, I'm praying for those of you who, like me, might be feeling a bit discouraged or down. Today is our prayer - all those diapers and that driving and those meals we fix are our gifts to a God who loves us just as we are. Done with love, even if they are not done perfectly, these "little" things can be our gifts to Him.

"You know that our Lord does not look at the greatness or difficulty of our action, but at the love with which you do it. What, then, have you to fear? "
St Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face, OCD

Happy Halloween

I hope you enjoy this video from Fr. Roderick!

Catholic Moments Podcast Episode #18

A "moment" with me! Today, it's an odds and ends podcast with some news and updates. I share my farewell to a good friend, Sheree and prepare for All Saints and All Souls with a recipe from Ann Ball for Pan de Meurtos. Also, please join me for a special project to support our troops by sending a card to James Terbay, son of our Catholic Mom columnist Susan Handle Terbay. You can send a Christmas card to Jimmy at this address:

SSG Terbay, James C.
G4/319 AFAR
Unit #31458 Box #18646
APO AE 09139

Links for this episode:
Taste and See Faith Giveaway
Catholic Mom Columnists
Trish Foti Genco - Catholic Musician
Fr. William Holtzinger - Catholic Podcaster
Ann Ball

Direct download: cm018.mp3
Subscribe to Catholic Moments at iTunes
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Serving the Lord in Music Ministry

I didn't want anyone to miss Pat Gohn's exceptional comments below on Larry's guitar plea. Thank you to Pat for sharing her wisdom and encouragement. Here are her insights:

Dear Larry,

I have been a church musician for 30 years. And I compliment you on your willingness to come forward and offer to play for your church. It is a joy and blessing to serve the Lord in music ministry, but it is also a responsibility not lightly entered into if you are in a position of leadership.

I have a few suggestions.

1. If you haven't already, seek guidance from your pastor and/or parish staff to see A) which Mass or masses would be the proper liturgical setting for the kind of worship music you wish to offer: chant, contemporary worship & praise, or traditional hymn singing; and B)see if the parish can offer any budget for the purchase of sheet music, hymnals, or the creation of a custom hymnal.

2. Once, you figure out those two items in #1, then you have a better path of direction. Make sure that if your church has a liturgy team to help with planning, that you get involved with that process. The point is, get plugged in with the decision makers in your parish. In short, your musical selections should tie in appropriately with the themes of the liturgical calendar.

3. A caution: There is very little "free" music. All music has licensing fees for use--especially if you intend to have copies of the words and/or music for the members of your congregation. (After all, this is how composers and music publishers earn a living.) There are certain hymns that have little to no fees affiliated, and these are usually called "public domain." Many people mistakenly believe that if one is performing music for God in a church that there should be no costs involved, but alas, that is not the case. Frankly, a church can get into legal hot water if it violates copyright laws, especially for the distribution of songsheets, etc, without proper licensing.

4. If your church gives you the green light, then do your research! There are many pre-fabbed hymnal collections out there already, but you may want to start out will making weekly songsheets/worship aids if your church is really small. For starters, get an education at this website: http://www.ccli.com/US.aspx You'll find that church music publishers charge based on the size of your church and the number of reprints you make. Another idea, is to go to your diocesan office--each diocese usually has a "worship or liturgy" office. They can direct you to other resources and possibly other musicians in your area who may be of help.

5. Once you have the necessary permissions, and a plan for what kind of music is called for... practice, practice, practice! We want to serve the Lord to the best of our abilities.

6. Learn how to use the church sound system properly! Many a church musician falters in this critical last step. If you are not heard, all of the other preliminary work is in vain.

7. Once in front of a microphone, make sure you possess a leadership style that is inviting and welcoming, not "showy" or "haughty". Give glory to God by being a servant-leader with the focus on the Mass, not the music.

8. Encourage others to join in. Find out if any parishioners belong to a community choir and ar local orchestra, etc. You may find others are willing to share their gifts.

9. Finally, some advice from St. Francis of Assisi: "First, do what's necessary, then what's possible, then before you know it, you're doing the impossible."

Peace,
Pat Gohn

Part of a Faith Family

This morning's school mass typified why I'm so in love with my parish. Every Friday morning, our school community celebrates mass together. I sat with some of my fellow moms this morning, since Adam was altar serving. Seated in the rear of the church, my heart swelled with gratitude at being a part of such a wonderful faith family.

Today's mass was very special for many reasons. Sadly, earlier this week we lost a dear friend - our first grade teacher Mrs. Ray. Sheree had begun the school year quietly fighting a battle against cancer and refusing to give in. The school brought in a team teacher to help her when it was apparent that she would only be able to work mornings due to fatigue and pain. In late September, she left her classroom when her pain and treatments made it impossible for her to teach. She vowed to be back and fought valiantly for the last month and half. On Sunday, during our 9:30 mass, we received word that she had died peacefully. Today's mass was dedicated to her memory - we will gather again as a faith family on Monday to celebrate her life at her funeral liturgy.

Today was also our Pastor's final school mass. He will leave on Monday to minister to a new parish. Our principal reminded us how Msgr. John has challenged each of us to dream big and to be better Christians every day. Msgr. leaves behind a legacy of new buildings, new computers, and new attitudes - he will be missed.

Also during Mass, we celebrated the baptisms of two children of one of our teachers. To be present at a family baptism is always a treat, but to celebrate our welcome of these two little souls into God's family on the day we were all missing Mrs. Ray so much was a special blessing. Somehow, the circle of life felt vivid and present in the glory of this sacrament.

I love my parish because it is my home, my faith home. I love the fact that we can gather in prayer to love and support one another in painful times, in goodbyes and in loss, and that we can lift one another's spirits when we celebrate joyously together. I love that we can gather as one in the Eucharist to nourish our souls and hearts in Jesus. I love that I am part of this family, the Body of Christ. Today, as on so many days, I realize that I am blessed beyond measure.