Tuesday, September 25, 2007

A Little Out of Sorts

Maybe I'm sleep deprived, or maybe it's the fact that my "baby" turns 13 tomorrow, but I'm feeling a little out of sorts today. I woke up for an early conference call, seated myself at my computer, and discovered that the homepage of CatholicMom.com was entirely "goofed up". That's not the technical term, but suffice it to say that it took me five hours to get things back to normal. The aforementioned call was interrupted by yet another set of technical disasters, leading me to cancel another call I had scheduled for later in the day. A very wise woman counseled me to "walk away" for a few hours. I probably wouldn't have followed that advice, but I had a volunteer shift scheduled at the College Connection office at Eric's school, so I was forced to drop the mouse and back away from the laptop.

When you're feeling completely ineffective and frustrated, "walk away" is good advice. On the way to school, I asked Adam to remember me in his prayers today. He asked, "What's wrong?", so I gave him some lame excuse but what I really wanted to say was, "You're growing up too fast, that's what's wrong!" I don't remember getting this messed up over Eric's 13h birthday...

So today, I'm out of sorts. I thinking that I will take the rest of the day "off", play with Adam, bake a birthday cake, and try again tomorrow. We'll see how that plan goes!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Let me please add some perspective on your day and how blessed you are. I just joined this channel yesterday, out of some protest, because I have gotten so frustrated in my life with all the parent resources such as this being targeted to "mothers". Men are to often forgotten and in our parental roles. By this, I am referring to the fact that I am a single father raising two young children (3 yr old boy, and 8 year old girl) in addition to trying to tend to my career, finances, etc (who has time for dating!). My wife (our mother) had an affair and left us for a younger man and more exciting life. Kind of funny, huh? Fact is, there are many men just like me out there. I have other male friends in my neighborhood in the same predicament. While I too have my days, at least I am not in the same horrible predicament as most divorced men who lose their children and parental roles all togather. My point for joining your forum is to bring this issue to mind, as it stuck out to me on the web site (no "CatholicFathers.com", etc) Sadly, it is a different world out there today, and I wish the churches and web sites, such as this, would respond and respect likewise. I, as a father, am the one who tries to maintain a home, see to my childrens Catholic education, upbringing, takes them to Mass every week and holiday, etc. Perhaps we should have a Catholic "parents" blog, not just Catholic "moms"; perhaps "mothers day out" programs should be changed to "parents day out", etc. etc. In addition, please be careful that you don't make all those single mothers out there feel bad because they 'can't' stay at home as a traditional Catholic Mom. Keep in mind how fortunate you are, and how rare it is becoming these days for a child to live, and be raised, with his married natural parents. Indeed, more then half the kids I know of (through children's school) come from divorced and single parent households. These days, unfortunately, we have a disposable society of convienence where women are just as likely to have affairs and leave families as are men (maybe even more so). I hurt as a father every time I see resources (sites) such as this. And, by-the-way, I am a convert to Catholicism, who loves his Church and doesn't appreciate being forgotten.
And through it all, I have certainly come to appreciate and believe what an important bedrock our Church's teachings are to our society. Thank you. Love you in Christ.

Charles

Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur said...

I hope tomorrow is a better day! Hang in there!

Pat Gohn said...

Dear Anonymous,

You are heroic in what you are doing, raising your children as a single father. I applaud your faith and determination. And, you correctly point out, that there is not as much out there resource-wise for single fatherhood. This is an area of needed growth and ministry in the Church, no doubt.

And yet, the lack of such resources is no reason to undermine a website that caters to this demographic of Catholic women. Since the last century, Catholic women, and specifically mothers, have been bombarded by a hostile culture that undermines faith and family. I know you understand this, as you shared the very real pain of your own story. Catholic.mom, among other fine websites, is a place to herald the great privilege and blessing of being a mother and a Catholic mother as well! While standing for Catholic values, it also encourages women to do the same. It is an open forum for all to visit, to think, to pray, to learn and to share together. And it is open to fathers, and anyone else who wants to visit this site!

With all due respect, just because this site upholds motherhood does not mean that it denegrates (or ignores) fatherhood. In fact, it does have a Dad's page! But there are other's out there. Besides, Focus on the Famiy--an excellent resource--just Google "Catholic Fatherhood." Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your struggle. The women who read this today are in admiration for all you are already doing.

Dear Lisa,
I've been where you are today. There is a piercing of the heart that is bittersweet with every stage of development of our children. Your boys are doing so well, and this is what we signed up for.

Its just that no one told us that there would be stages of development that a mother would have to face year in and year out.

Let us pray for one another!
Pat

Unknown said...

Charles,
Thank you for taking the time to post on this blog and for your comments. I have always done my very best to write from an inclusive perspective. You might be surprised to learn that many of those who read this blog are dads just like you, they just don't normally comment. I hear frequent feedback from them and I try to share on topics here that concern all of us, not just parents. If you stay on as a subscriber, you will find posts on all sorts of topics. I'm just one mom, writing about the things that happen in my own family life and trying my best to share my love of my faith with others. I will keep you and your family in my prayers!
Lisa

Unknown said...

Patrice and Pat, What would I do without you two in my life? Thank you, sisters, for taking the time to lift me up when I'm feeling down. You guys are awesome! Lisa

Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle said...

Charles,

God bless you for what you do with your children, raising them in the faith. I'm sure that we will all be keeping you in our prayes and hope that you visit this site often for inspiration.

God bless you and your family,
Donna

Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle said...

Pat,

That was so well said!

God bless,
Donna

Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle said...

Lisa, dear Lisa!

I hope that you are feeling better now. Oh, to be a Mom and to be a good Mom...God only knows, well actually Mary, our Blessed Mother truly knows, too.

All I can say is to give those boys extra squeeze hugs as often as you can...that's really good medicine! Just relish in your time with them. Our kids are on loan to us...SORRY, but true. You are doing an awesome job!

God bless you and keep you!
Donna